FAQ and More

For  20 months we have been "in process" to grow our family through adoption. For 20 months we have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Then we were matched with our son and the wait got so much harder.

It is so hard to believe that 362 days ago we became parents again. It is even harder to believe that what was supposed to be a 4-6 month wait has now doubled and we are still waiting. Finally though, we are close to the end of the wait and the start of a new begining...The Wong Family Party of 4...all under one roof.

So, in preperation of James' homecoming this blog will answer all those

When will James be coming home?

We still do not know exactly. The one piece of the puzzle we were waiting for the last year was his "EP" and he has been submitted for his (Praise the Lord) and it should be approved any day. Our agency says that after that approval it takes about 2-4 weeks historically. However, last batch started getting travel calls after only 9 days. For us, every day feels like a month and the final days of this wait are dragging. Can someone induce me please - I want to hold my son.

How much notice will you get ?

Once James has EP approval everything still must go through the US embassy. I can call Washington, DC then and give his case number and they will be able to tell me ( most of the time if it is up to date) if he has had his visa interview or made an appearance at the United States Embassy in Seoul. This will give us a very rough estimate of when he will be home. This part of the process is usually pretty quick and when it is complete James will have everything he needs (paperwork wise) to come to America.

What is the Travel Call?

This is the call that comes from our agency and tells us that the little boy that we have loved for over a year is ready to come home. It is the call that makes me cry just thinking of it. If we were traveling it would mean that we could board the plane and go to Korea. Since we are escorting (that was why it was so important for me to plan a trip so quickly a few weeks ago - so I could see his birth country, spend time with him there, meet the woman who matched us together, and meet the family that loved my son like their own for so long) it means that we get a second call with travel information and a date and time of his arrival. Most people have only waited 3-5 days after this call.

Can we come to the airport?

We have been asked this pretty frequently and the answer is -Yes!!!! We would love to have anyone who would like come and be part of this special day. This will be the moment we are joined together as a family of four.  However, we understand that both Philadelphia and Newark ( James can arrive at either and we will not know until we get the call) airports are far and that it will be very last minute so please don't feel obligated. For those not familiar with adoption homecomings - we will be at the airport for a short time after he arrives. Please feel free to bring posters and signs to welcome him home. We just ask that you don't try to pick him up, hold him, hug him etc. 

Can we hold him and hug him once he is home?

While we have all have gotten to know James through pictures and updates the last year he did not get to know everyone who loves him here the same way. He is about to go through a huge transition that involves so much loss. He will grieve the loss of the only family he has known. It is important that only Anthony and I meet his needs initially so that he can learn to trust us and attach to us. The same as if we were bringing an infant home - we must be the ones to comfort him, sooth him, feed him, change him etc so that he can learn to trust us to care for him and see us as his parents. The window for initial attachment is small. Once he is securely attached we promise that you can hold him, cudlde him, and love on him all you want.

How long will attachment take?

The truth is we just don't know. Some children attach quickly and others have a difficult time. Some children need additional support with therapists and some do not. It is often a work in progress and takes time. We have educated ourselves and have some good attachement statagies to work with if needed.

Does James know any English?

No - he does not speak english and the few words that I know in Korean must not sound anything like they are supposed to because he either doesn't stop what he is doing or he looks at me with a puzzled look. The good news is that when I spoke to him using english I got some good responses. This will surely be another area that initially will pose some difficulties though.

When will James be Baptized?

As long as we have no complications everything is set for him to be Baptized on July, 8th 2012 @ 1:30 pm with a reception following. We our blessed to have our close friends , Steve and  Kim,  be James' godparents. Family members - invitations will be mailed after James is home.

Thank you to all those who have supported us on this journey. We are incredibly lucky to have been chosen to be James' parents and look forward to having both Zoey and James together under one roof.