Friday, April 29, 2011

Where did April go ?!?!

Where did April go ?!?!?

When your in process for an international adoption your constantly counting the number of days.... The number of days it has been since you started the journey, the number of days you have been officially in process, the number of days since your home study was sent to Korea, the number of days before your agency puts out the first Friday of the month update, the number of days you have been waiting for immigrations to process your paperwork, and the number of days you have been waiting for a referral...... and then if your like me you stalk the number of days your fellow online adoption friends have waited to make sure your right on track. So, when the counting becomes to much and your in-laws want to take you away for a last minute trip you drop everything and go.

So we went!!!! We boarded a plane and headed to bright and sunny Florida. We took in the warm sunshine and created some lifelong memories.

We started off in Orlando and visited Sea World, the Magic Kingdom, and Epcot because even though we went last year you never can have to many magical Disney experiences. And yes, this mama was teary eyed again watching her little one take it all in. My greatest happiness comes from her happy moments.

We visited Sea World for the first time and Zoey took in so much from just one day. She has always loved princesses and castles like at Disney but this really left a mark on her childhood wonder. At the shows she stared out as whales and dolphins flipped in the air and even I sat amazed. I had a hard time watching the show because I was so enthralled with watching my little girl.

My little girl who enjoyed every moment of her day. My little one who stared at her map and wondered where we would go next and just what we would see.

We left Sea World with a stuffed Shamu that she has slept with every night since. She tosses it in the air and puts on a show for us just like she saw.

And now when she swims she tells tales of how she is like a dolphin and her face lights up with passion and excitement.

And I wonder, what are the moments that make a difference in our childrens lives?!? Maybe one day she will come to her father and I and tell us her dream is to be an animal trainer at SeaWorld ....... I believe that it is important to fill her life with experiences... Shamu will more then likely be desserted in the coming months but you never know when your creating a defining moment in somesones life.

After having a magical vacation in Orlando..... after dining with princesses and watching my princess enjoy her days packed with rides, shows, and sticky treats it was time to say goodbye to Mickey and venture south for part two of the vacation.
We left and went to my sisters where she had a great big grand gathering of family to welcome us. The day was filled with good food, conversation and laughter. Zoey was able to spend time with all of her cousins and was so tired by the end of the day she immiadiately fell asleep as we ventured to our hotel.

And then for two more days we spent countless hours with family having a wondeerful time.

Zoey got to do lots of swimming and playing with her cousins.

And I got to spend some time with my family.

..... But there just is never enough time ...

and before long

we had to say goodbye ....

and board the plane back to reality.

And back to counting the days ......and waiting......and waiting some more. We know we are getting close because the numbers all point that way :) but we also know that it is "in Gods time not mine".

How cute are they? Happy Friday!!!!!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Taking It ALL in ....

A Wong Kind of Fairy Tale

The wonderful thing about life is that we all have the ability to write our own story as it unfolds. Every decision we make, every encounter that we have, every moment is part of something bigger. We have the ability to create our very own happy ending because the rest of the story is still very much unwritten.

I was talking with friends yesterday, and we were discussing how the small events in our children's lives that make us teary eyed. How such small little beings could make us so happy that the tears stream from our faces as we watch a Spring concert or see the look on our little girls face as she sees Cinderella's Castle as she strolls down main street.

I cry all the time. Great big happy tears. The best part of my day is picking Zoey up from preschool and watching her face light up as she makes her way down the hallway. Always shouting "Mommy" with her arms outstretched - it melts my heart each and every time. I love snuggling in bed with her in the morning, and I love that the very last thing she says to me as she dozes off is "love you Mama". I love that she is growing into this amazing little person, and that as she grows each new stage is my favorite.

I would play a million games of Candy Land and I would have princess tea parties all day if I could keep her small forever. I cry so many happy tears, but often times they just may be bittersweet - she is growing up, fast, and I see this invisible clock ticking. She will be four soon - where did four years go?

So, here we are living the Wong Fairytale....and we have had more than our share of twists and turns and bumps along the way. But, those have just been chapters of the story. And the most wonderful thing is that at any time I can turn the page and start another chapter....A chapter in this great big story we call our life.

I am so thankful for all the family and friends that have supported us along the way. Those who celebrated with us as Anthony & I made the huge commitment of marriage and those who supported us as we began to create a family. I am thankful for those who comforted me during the difficult times and those who prayed for Zoey in her early Nicu days. I am thankful for my old friends who I have known for almost my entire life and for the new ones that I have met because we share one common bond - the love for our kiddies. It is all of you that make the difficult pages easier and the happy pages that much more special.

Every now and then someone will ask why we are choosing to adopt, and the short of it is , that in the big story of life this is what the next chapter is. All of the pages have led up to this moment. Every joy and every pain has prepared us for this journey. Yes, we could have become pregnant again....Yes, every single second of bedrest has been rewarded with sticky kisses and little girl laughter...... Yes, Zoey's stay in the Nicu was a long time ago and overall she is doing well. But, I have to believe that everything happens for a reason and sometimes you have to take a second to reflect on the message.

One thing I know is that Zoey has brought me more joy then I could have ever imagined. From the early days of watching her sleeping to the little person she is becoming she has made me happier then I could ever imagined. My heart has grown so much just from becoming her MaMa. It is this love that makes me want to have another child, and it is her spirit that makes me want her to have a sibling to share her childhood wonders with.

Pretty soon we will be matched with our son or daughter, and Zoey will see a picture of the baby brother or sister that she tells me about a few times a week as we get ready for bed. She is ready to be a big sister, and my heart melts when she wants to buy a toy or outfit for baby brother. We think about our baby who has already been born on the other side of the world and know that pretty soon we will receive miarculous news and we will make preperations and pray for his or her well being.

I feel every bit the same as I did when I was pregnant with Zoey. Someone once asked if we could love the new baby as much as Zoey and I was shocked because I know that biology is the least of what makes a family. Some of the most influential people in my life were not blood related but I consider them very much a part of my family. My heart is growing, and I am thankful that I will be a mother again. I pray the same prayers, and I have the same hopes and dreams. I am carrying this child just as I carried my heart....and I hope that both of my children will have great big beautiful lives.