Reflections

This morning I called the National Visa center is Washington, DC again.

After waiting on hold for quite a bit today a cheery voice on the other end asked how she could help me.

Me: I am calling to check on the status of my sons adoption file.

NVC:  Can I have your number.

Me: Sure - SEO  ********

NVC: Ohhh, Ohhhhhh

Me: Yes

NVC: He is coming home - his Visa has been issued.

Me: ( starting to do the ugly cry but trying to keep composed) - Really!!!

NVC: What a cute little one.

Ahhhhhhhhh -----> Still can't believe it.

So, in a nutshell - James has a Visa and can come to America. My baby boy really is all ready to come home. Finally, after all this time and all the holdups he can come home.

Now, we just wait for the agency to put the last details together - his travel arrangements - and for them to call me and tell me "He is coming home". 

All day my heart beat out of my chest when the phone would ring but today was not the day.

Hoping for tomorrow.

So, what are we doing during these last few days before James comes home ?

Everything is pretty much ready for James - so now we are focusing on Zoey. Having extra family fun days because pretty soon her world is going to be rocked a little too. She has been an amazing big sister during this wait. She always thinks of her brother and the love that she has for him can already be seen. She is far too innocent to understand all that is about to happen and she already wants to protect the brother that she has loved from so far away this last year.

I came home from Korea a few weeks ago with an album full of pictures and a framed photograph of James and his foster mother (Omma). I put the framed picture on his dresser and a few days later was in his bedroom when Zoey came in and brought the photo over to me. She looked at me with such worry, and in her quiet little voice she asked me where James' mommy was going to sleep.

Her small little hand was pointing to Omma.

"We don't have a room for her"

The tears welled up in my eyes for so many different reasons.

My little girl has known in her heart that James was her brother from the moment she saw his picture and she has been so proud and honored to be a big sister. Like us, she has watched him grow in pictures, and in many of those photographs Omma was with him. My little princess really had no idea that the mommy who took care of him in Korea was going to have say goodbye to him so he could come to his forever family.

My heart has been breaking for Omma knowing that her time with James will soon be coming to an end and here Zoey is, with all her innocence, she could never imagine that kind of loss.

She knows that James is her brother but still has no idea of all that has transpired in his short little life that allows us the opportunity to be his family.

Please continue to pray for Omma and James as they say goodbye to each other in the coming days.

I wish that there was a way to prevent both their hearts from hurting.

Reflections

It is hard to believe that this is it - in a few days James will be home with us -  forever. There were times during this wait that I really didnt know if this day would really ever come. I knew that I loved my son, and that I would never give up waiting to bring him home, but honestly sometimes I worried that I would be loving him from half way around the world - forever.

It is so hard to believe that I survived the setbacks, the changes in expectations, and the delays and here I stand just days away from the other side of the wait and I can say that it was all worth it. The tears, the uncertainty, the pleading and begging, the praying, the days when I didn't think I could go on ... I would do it all again.... The journey wasn't easy but the reward has made my heart abundantly full.

I have been blessed to have been given two miracles in my lifetime.... Zoey and James.

Neither miracle came easy - but both journeys changed my life forever.

Neither child came to me easy, but for that I am a better mother.

I will never take for granted the gift that motherhood is.

My faith has been tested so many times but everything has happened in His perfect timing.

We may not have it all together, but together we really do have it all.

I couldn't imagine my life any other way.

I am married to my best friend, I have a beautiful daughter, and my son is coming home any day.

We have amazing family and friends that have supported us through thick and thin and so many new friends that we have connected with on this adoption journey.

I have my fair share of trials - trust me!!!  But the good by  far "trumps" the bad.

Here I am at 33 and I have everything I ever dreamed of.

A loving husband, two beautiful children, and wonderful family and friends.

I am blessed to stay at home with my babies and have days filled with playdates, art projects, and the beach and I have some pretty amazing friends - old and new.

Really, can it get any better then this?

Ummm, wait ... it can..... when I get the call... and James comes home - FOREVER.