The Little Things

I have been a blogging slacker!!! The last few weeks I kept telling myself that I just don't have anything to write. We haven't gotten any new news on the adoption front. Zilch, Zero, Zippo!!!! No updates!!! No pictures!!! No Well Baby Checks!!!! Nothing!!!

<---- This is the last picture of sweet Korean cuteness to make its way into my inbox.  It was taken late October - how cute is he?

I refuse to write another post ( well for now) about how hard it is that we are still waiting. I won't write about how much our hearts hurt that James won't be home for Christmas or how hard it was to hold back the tears when I had to explain to Zoey that Santa will not be bringing her brother James for Christmas no matter how good "Elvis" - elf on the shelf- reported that she was. Not sure if she "gets it" but I am hoping that her new toys distract her from wondering why Mr. Claus  didn't get the memo.

Instead , I am going to focus on the little things. Instead of wishing away the month that already passes quicker then the others, so that January can arrive, and the EP ( aka  *exit permit *golden ticket) quota can reset and all of us mama's stuck in the long wait can get our precious kiddies home...... I am going to stop and take time to enjoy the little things.

So, here goes. Day 1 - The little things.

"Christmas is sights, especially the sights of Christmas reflected in the eyes of a child" - unknown


Decorating  When I was a little girl I loved the holidays. My mama had some eye for decor and at one point as I got older I swear our perfect tree could have been on display at Macy's. I remember the year that my mom got the festive (but crazy) idea to cut all of the holly from a tree in the backyard and tie it to the banisters (those leaves really prick) and the year that she "discovered" gold foil star garland at the dollar store and she "owned" it - BIG! I still remember perfect gold spirals of the wire wrapped tinsel hanging from the tree, mirrors, and gifts too. Oh, and she had this ice skater that held a candle and moved slowly and peacefully - it was elegant and beautiful and I just thought it was the greatest thing ever.

When I grew up and left home my mama gave me some of those childhood treasures.  Some ornaments and garland and even that ice skater that I loved so much as a kid. They stayed packed away for several years until I got married and had a home of my own. I remember the first time I took the boxes down from the attic and opened them. All of the treasures that I looked at all my years growing up seemed so ..... different.

The magic just wasn't there. The memories of my childhood were there, but I just didn't see the decorations the same way as I did when I was growing up. Somehow, the years they were stored away ...the years when I was going to college ....and growing....meeting my husband and falling in love...getting married and starting a whole new journey.... something changed.

I changed. I was all grown up. I had lost my childhood wonder. The ice skater that seemed to be 5 foot tall and twirling in my living room while I grew up was now just 18 inches and her movements were rather stiff. The angel ornaments that radiated from the tree when I was a kid now didn't seem to be so bright and large and don't even get me started on that gold star tinsel. I thought I would be able to recreate the same kind of Christmas that I had growing up, but I stood there with all the makings, and it just didn't seem to be working. That first Christmas in our new house with my new husband was nice but it was misisng the magic.

That very next year Christmas changed again. It was the first year we were celebrating Christmas as a new family. I was now a mother, my husband a father, and we had been blessed with a daughter.  All of a sudden the magic was back - big time - and everything started to make sense.

<--  This little girl is the keeper of the childhood wonder and through her I get to feel the magic again.  Oh, and I just can imagine next year when we get double the wonder experiencing it all through both Zoey and James' eyes.

 She makes me stop and enjoy the little things.

When I see her face light up as she pushes the bell on the light up musical gingerbread house for the hundredth time or when she wakes and the first thing she wants do to is plug in the tree - it's those little things.

The magic is in the paint, glitter and glue masterpieces we create.

It's in the little blue eyed elf named "Elvis" who moves around the house making sure everyone stays off Santa's naughty list.

It's in my yard display which consists of a nativity display (that Zoey insists is Mary, God, and baby Jesus),  some gigantic colored lights that totally clash, and snowflake lights that blink and twinkle in blue and white as they hang around the porch because that is what my baby girl likes. 

It's in the little things like snow globes and music boxes. 

<-- It's in her eyes when we drive through the neighborhood and she stares in amazement like we just drove past the Osborn lights in Disney World. I love how she oohs and ahhhs from the back seat giving the same excitement whether its an elaborate display or simple candles in the windows.

It is in the little things.

And somehow all these little things add up to some great big things in the eyes of a child.

I hope that she has the same kind of memories of holidays past when she grows up. I hope one day she will open the boxes of all these "things" that we make and collect and have good memories of childhood. I even hope that some of the things in the the boxes don't  seem as sparkly or shiny or big as when she was a little girl because then she too will have known  childhood wonder.

I am thankful that I had a childhood filled with sparkly trees, prickly holly, and lots and lots of gold tinsel stars. I am blessed to have had a mother who tapped into my childhood wonder and planted the magic in my heart.

"Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time" Unknown