I have always taken time to reflect on how much of a miracle Zoey is - especially during the month of November. I try and make an extra donation to the March of Dimes, post articles and videos in an effort to spread awareness, and I try and share Zoey's story so others can help fight the fight on premature birth.
One in 8 babies are born too soon....Zoey Marie was born nine weeks too soon. We named her Zoey because Zoey means "life" and she just had to live.
I remember praying to God, sometimes hourly, to find a way to keep her on the inside. As I sat in bed for several months, most of it (8 weeks) in the hospital, I would read the March of Dimes website and try to prepare myself for whatever may come. I remember barganing over and over to myself - that if my baby girl could just be alright I would make sure to join the crusade to ensure that all babies have a healthy nine months.
I am forever gracious that I have a story to tell. I am forever thankful that Zoey didn't become part of the statistic that premature birth is the number one cause of death in infants.
I still remember those early days as if they were as fresh as yesterday. I remember walking into the NICU for the very first time and seeing her entangled in wires and tubes and feeling like my world was rocked -hard. I remember being several feet from her incubator and hardly having enough strength to stand. The room was spinning and I could hardly see through the tears streaming down my face. I just kept thinking this wasn't the way it was supposed to be.
The first days were hard and for every step we took forward we seemed to take three back. Zoey's Nicu stay was some of the longest days of my life.
I am thankful that she only had to spend 22 days in the NICU and am still suprised that she came home ,at almost 4 lbs, with just an apnea monitor when I would have just reached 34 weeks gestation.
I am thankful that her PDA closed on its own, that drugs like caffiene reminded her to breath, and that machines like the monitor she was attached to for eight months alarmed us when she would occasionaly "forget" and scare this MaMa silly.
I am thankful for the March of Dimes because it wasn't too long ago that Zoey wouldn't have had the same prognosis.
The March of Dimes is an incredible organization and because of their research and campaigns I am blessed to be Zoey's mommy. Being a mother to a premature baby has taught me to never take a single minute of motherhood for granted. It has taught me just how fragile life can be. The many sleepless nights with a screaming baby who suffered severe reflux because of complications with her esaphagus reminded me that she was alive and breathing and everytime her alarm sounded and I had to lift her up quickly so that she was startled into breathing again reminded me over and over that she was a miracle. My pregnancy complications and giving birth to a premature baby questioned my faith and then strengthened it over and over and over again. It taught me that miracles happen when we believe. It changed me. It makes me remember to never take for granted the gift of motherhood. It reminds me to have patience with Zoey's special needs and to never forget just how far she has come already. It reminds me of my own strength and to never lose my faith.
It helped affirm our desire to adopt. It showed us that miracles happen and then happen again with the referral of James. Zoey and James remind us daily that God is so so Good.
I have no doubt that I was meant to be a mother. It suits me in a way that I just can't explain. It challenges me to be the very best version of me. It pushes me to do more, be more, and give back more so that my children can learn from example. It inspires me to cherish every moment because my littles won't be little forever. It lets me find hapiness in the little things like preschool art and classroom parties. Motherhood has made my heart love like I never knew possible.
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2 comments:
We love March of Dimes too. I'm moved to tears every time I read about each of your precious kids. You are one blessed Mama. *hug*
Love the post! And Bates was a preemie too! He was born at 2 pounds at about 30-32 weeks. He, like Zoey, had a PDA. His was surgically corrected at 1 week old... yep, heart surgery on a 2 pound, one week old baby! Often I will run my finger over the scar that takes up half his back and thank the Lord that my son was a fighter and that while I wasn't there to hold his hand or stroke his head in the NICU that the Lord was holding my son in the palm of His hand until the time I could home him with my own. And while you wait for James, remember, just like He did with Zoey and did with both my boys, He is holding James until you can and He won't let him go!
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